i dont have time to just sit and feel anymore. every spare second i have is spent worrying about all this crap, all this drama. i left school thinking hey, 3.5 months to just get over everything, its not working out how i'd hoped. every moment i realise how much i really did change. not that its bad, and everywhere i go im assured that its 100% normal, and it would be abnormal if i didnt. so why do i feel guilty for growing up? im not doing anything to stop it, maybe thats why i feel so bad. but why should i stop something that is making me happy?

i feel really lost not being in school. i mean i work, but its a dead end job that i loath with every fiber of my being, i know what i want to do with my life and it sucks that im wasting time doing this and not what i want. i find myself re-reading my intro to psych book just cause i miss it. and i love to just sit and think about it all, that how i know im doing the right thing, im happy when im doing it.

i've got a little under 2 months left home. and im thankful that there are people here who are making this alot easier, making the time go by till i can get back to doing what i want to do. but honestly i feel like im just wasting my time, this break is slowing me down.